I found myself listening to country again. Before you gasp in shock, take this in. Yes I used to be a country music fan. I, probably like most people, go through phases of music. For a while it was 80's, then current pop, then christian, then bang your head stuff, then that all-out-angry-fight-anything phase. Country was something I got started on when I was dating Rick years ago. It was ok then. But as time changed, I found myself not being able to listen. Even when we were married-too much pain to hear those songs that I knew so well and new things that were so similar to when times were good. Before things went south. Before the money and status and position took hold. A beat up truck and a tiny apartment. Things were not good for a long time in my marriage. I can accept that. And hold myself accountable for my part. It certainly wasn't one sided damage that occurred. Both of us created a monster.
But now, for the first time in years, I can listen and enjoy it. Relax and not cringe at that twang of a steel guitar. Makes me smile for the first time in years. New things have a significant factor in that. Not just the house, but new people. I'm in that terrible pendulum of being ecstatic about going out and the swing of the other side of not hearing from him for days. An old friend once said never let your highs get too high and your lows too low. Good advice. Hard to do, but best for everyone involved.
It's getting there. Think it's time to go honky tonk'n again. Can't dance well but that doesn't matter. It's all good.
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